thank you and i love you, but

by Brendan Ra Tyler

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1.
zoom out reposition the frame there's more in a history than there is in a name none of its golden and no one's to blame all this goddamned shame and i think you forget that i don't remember and all i was told is she died in november now i'm not sure if i'll ever get better because this life don't look the same no, it's a brand new kid of pain you showed me the light but it hurts my eyes how are you all so alright? god, i hope you're alright. i'm scared i wasn't prepared thought you cared and maybe for a while you did black tar i can see myself from afar you are at the bottom of this bottomless pit you're at the root of all my shit you showed me the light but it hurts my eyes can i just pretend i'm blind? i hope you're alright i saw the light but it hurts my eyes how are you all so alright? well, i hope you are.
2.
i dont look up to you why would i ever want to? and to tell you the truth i wish it wasn't you it didn't have to be you cuz she disappeared while she was next to you o, please say you did the best you could do unless it wouldn't be true in which case... it didn't have to be you so no need to teach me i know now what not to do just tell me you're sorry that's all i really want from you man, i don't mean to be rude but this is long overdue it didn't have to be you it didn't have to be you it didn't have to be you it didn't have to be you it really fucking didn't.
3.
maple trees 01:54
not quite sure what you expect from me i know i owe you everything [you will soon be free] can't tell if this is what you meant for me, cat's eyes [cat's eyes] [i've given you everything] [given you everything] sick and tired of all these memories can't i turn them to maple trees? [you will soon be free] then you can take whatever's left of me, cat's eyes [my child] [i've given you everything] [given you everything] sugary maple sweet [you can be the something to confront me]
4.
zoom out, reposition the frame. there's more in a history than there is in a name. none of its golden and no one's to blame. and i think you forget: i don't remember all i was told is she died in november now i'm not sure if i'll ever get better because this life don't look the same this is a brand new kind of pain. you showed me the light but it hurts my eyes how are you all so alright? i hope you're alright i'm scared i wasn't prepared thought you cared and yeah, i know. for a while you did. black tar i can see myself from afar you are at the the bottom of this bottomless pit you're at the root of all this shit you showed me the light but it hurts my eyes i can't just pretend i'm blind man, i hope you're alright i saw the light really hurt my eyes god, i hope you're alright.

about

Dedicated to my siblings
album art by Kevin Shanahan

credits

released November 6, 2020

license

all rights reserved

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